“You look amazing today!”, “This dress fits you! You are gorgeous!”, “Your cookies are so delicious! You should open a café!”
How would you react on such comments?
About 80% of women react on compliments wrong and start to say something like “Oh, it’s very old dress”, “Are you kidding me? I didn’t sleep all night!” or “Mine cookies are not that good, just try Annies!”
What these answers show? You don’t value yourself and you don’t let others to do it!
Your companion gave a rating to your look or skills, but you just crossed it, made yourself smaller, meaningless and decreased your dignity. It’s like you are saying: “I’m so poor and helpless, if I did something good – it’s a fortuity. I’m not worth your compliments! What a pity!”
So many times we are afraid to stand out of the crowd, to show what we can do better, to show our talents and skills. With such behavior first of all you harm yourself. You just stick a label of looser to you and make people think like that about you.
How to solve this problem?
In fact it’s not hard to accept compliments, but there are some rules which help you to do it right:
- It’ll be enough to say “thank you”, “it’s so kind from you”, “I’m glad to hear it from you” and smile. You can use your own phrases, but the most important is to send thankful message and stop. There is no need to give any details or excuses about what, why and where happened.
- There is no need at the same time to send compliment back. Wait for a while and you will have a chance to say it sincerely and don’t not look like you said something just to be polite.
- If you think that person exaggerates your achievements, just be thankful to him/her and don’t try to ask why and for what he/she said like that! It’s his own choice!
Never say something like:
- “You flatter me”, “No, it’s not like that”, “Oh, thank you, but I’m not that beautiful” etc. People are not equal! Everyone is a diamond and it’s amazing that you can do something better than others!
- So cool (for a first sight) phrase like “Thanks, I know it!” doesn’t show you as a very self-confident. With these words you show like “Hey! Who you really are to say like that? You are nothing and I’m a queen!”
- Other common words “It’s just a compliment” may offend someone. Trust me, no one will try to overpersuade that you are wonderful, amazing and the best in the whole universe! And you won’t receive complements anymore.
- Never push someone to make a compliment to you (especially your boyfriend!). “Am I fat in this dress?”, “Am I beautiful today?”, “My cooking is the best, isn’t it?”
Love yourself the way you are and remember that you are unique and wonderful and after you can easily accept compliments!